What a week. Sick kids will do you in. The of course who gets sick from taking care of them? Mom. Ugh. Have the cough and now a super duper bad sinus headache. That is the actual medical term for it or misery. So ready to feel better. Things are becoming better in the area of my last pity party. It was a part horomonal thing. Plus for some reason when the seasons change I go into a bit of a depression. I know, spring is coming, happy flowers, sunshine, etc. One would tend to think, what the heck? But it's the change that does it to me. I think I cry every season, when school is out, holidays are over, birthday's for my girls. Probably a childhood thing. Spring is harder because of birthdays, mine and my mothers. It also reminds of not great times during childhood. And that swimsuit, shorts and tank top season is around the corner and I DO have to get this extra holiday weight off:)

Well, I started reading So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore. It's great so far. For every woman out there. Wether you think are you insecure or not. If something or someone was taken away from you, you would see where that insecurity lies. I am realizing where and who I find my security in, when in all realness we all need to find our security within our relationship with God. That is so much easier said than done. Can't wait to read more...

Well off to run errands and going to TRY hard to get a workout in today, feeling sick or not. Tried on that one pair of pants that I love and it's a no go! HA!

Praying for my girls today while they are in school. Especially Morgan, can't help but feel so in the dark about her life right now....

Peace out

Well, it's been a while for me. Lots of fun things have gone on since I last wrote and changes as well. We went skiing for the first time, well all of us except Pat's first time. Girls did great, Morgan struggled with snowboarding but Taylor picked up skiing pretty well. Me, I'm trying out for the Olympics, ok, maybe not. The ski lift and I don't get along. What do you do!!! The cabin we stayed in was gorgeous. Thank God for friends who let us borrow it. I think I enjoyed just hanging at the cabin with Addy and relaxing more than anything.

My struggles lately have consisted of friends and my kiddos. I don't know if anyone else, stay at home moms, working moms, go through this as well. I don't live in the town I grew up in. It's always been hard to find great friends, then once I do something goes wrong. Seems like everyone is going in different directions these days and is always TOO busy. For me my friends are part of my family. When you don't have a 'real' family you have to make one! I always try my best to focus on others, blessing others and being humble about it. But sometimes the human side of me wonders why I don't get that back! You give and give and give...only to not be called, checked on, asked how your trip was, how are your kids. I know SELFISH, but I have to vent. These past couple of days I have had nothing but time to think. Part of me would love to just up and move, far away, start new. Probably wouldn't be easier, I know. My sister has always been great about making me feel better, thanks!! I guess eventually you begin to wonder what is 'wrong' with me. I wish, really do, that I had one of these amazing personalities that people liked. But I'm shy at times, reserved and probably just too much to take. It will get better...

Need to grow my friendship with God, quite a bit more. I know this. My sister has said in the past, I think you were meant to be born into a large family, you love having people around and I do! But I guess I would LOVE to be asked, not always the asker.

Whew...ok. Putting the hats and streamers away from my little pity party. Everyone has to vent at times, right!!!

Back to school...

That time of year again! Back to school...guilty I LOVE it! I think I appreciate my kids more when they are gone for a bit. Addy becomes my best lil' buddy! She started school last week, only one day. Good enough for me to catch up on my errands. When I am somewhere though and see a little one or a mom with their kids I do miss mine, for a second! The girls are taking a break from dance this year. So nice not to have to run to Norman 2 or 3 times a week of an evening. Tonight they do tumbling, all 3 @ the same time! So that is nice! Tuesday Taylor has been doing ice skating lessons and will resume that in the Fall. She seems to get the hang of it pretty well. Morgan will start soccer @ the end of September. We also are part of the start of a new church. Summitchurch.tv. Had our first service this past Sunday! Went great! My kids are even so excited. Morgan worked at the hospitality booth and then helped with the little ones. Addy and her best bud Harper 'helped' carry out misc. items after service!

Well, had more to write...my brain is not working great right this moment! Someday maybe I will be able to really write!

Peace

Mothering Girls

Wow is all I can think of right now.  I just finished Dare to Discipline, after about 6 months of reading it here and there.  For anyone who knows me, to read a 'life helping, encouraging' book takes me a while.  For when I read it I am ready to change everything!  Make improvements on mine and my families lives.  So as you can see why I read ridiculously fictional vampire books for long periods of times, HA!  There are so many thoughts to go into this.  First and most important is that as a MOM having girls, we are the biggest and most influential person in their life.  Doesn't sound so hard, huh?  IT IS SO HARD!  To the clothes, words, books, magazines, TV shows, movies...way we treat people.  The fact that I wear a tank top under my tshirts and sleep in a 'sleep bra'.  Yep Morgan does all of that.   I have my 'workout' music, yep it's not Christian and what have  I caught Morgan and Taylor jumping rope to it w/out my permission.  So needless to say, this job is a wee bit stressful at times.  

Another book I am starting is YOUR GIRL by Vicki Courtney.  Only read one chapter thus far.  But very mind and eye opening.  Talks simply so far about media and our kids.  Maybe the mother of 18 kids and counting does have the right idea.  

Don't get me wrong, but I know our kids will eventually make their own decisions.  One of the statistics discusses by the time are kids are 7 they will be imprinted with our values.  No pressure, huh?!!   

One of the most important goals as the mom of Morgan, Taylor and Addy is to make sure that they know I have more than the 'going to church on Sunday' relationship with God.  

All for now, have to get outside before they begin fighting once again...what's the cure for that?!?! HA

Peace

10 year olds...

Just a quick blog, nothing serious.  Sitting here trying to stand my ground with my 10 year old.  The sassy smart mouth has arrived...hope it doesn't stay too long, I have 2 more to go through this phase with.  I honestly don't think God is 'paying me back' but yet somehow what goes around, comes around.  I was the worst smart mouth to my mother.  Face slapped, fly swatters broken.  But I deserved it!  Mine was out of anger towards her.  Morgan's I feel is just that time for me and her.  I grounded her for the night due to so much arguing, but it is so hard to stick with it.  BUT I WILL!!!  Part of the reason we are where we are is due to not sticking with it.  

So that is my evening in a nutshell.  Off to ice the 'lowfat' strawberry cupcakes with the 'non-grounded' kids!!

Love to all!

Why Not...

Hmmm, nothing much to write about.  Have so many followers, haha...just going to write some nonsense, actually.  Had a crazy few weeks lately...had my birthday.  Turned 33, ugh.  I would love to be 25 again.  We went to dinner and then I had a girls weekend.  It was a blast...didn't want to come home actually.  Been a long time since I have stayed more than one night away from my kids, almost 3 years to be exact.  Oddly enough at 33 you think you should know what your purpose is...ha.  I think I have known once in my life and now almost every day doubt clouds my head.  My life is actually pretty boring if you were to write a book.  Yesterday we had Easter at the house, not once did someone say how are you?  How are things?  Sorta bugs me but then I go and think, what the heck would I say?!?!  Unless they want to hear about Felicity re runs, the 3 loads of laundry I did or the floors I swiffered, then there would be nothing else to say.  Sorta sad...These days SAHM's aren't praised nor found interesting, were they ever?!?!  

See, nothing interesting...just needed to write something!

My 10 year old...

First of all writing this to help myself.  Very open to any advice that you think you might have.  I am leaning on the people around me for inspiration, hope and some darn good advice!  I will write more on just me and the other parts of my life later on, this issue is on top of my thoughts lately.  About my 10 year old...she is an amazingly talented artsy kid.  Loves projects.  Just did a book report on Rosa Parks and was so creative about it.  Her last one she handed out origami to the class and had them vote on which report they liked the best, got an extra 20 points for having class involvement.  WOW!  I think she is an old soul in a young girl.  Has been strong willed and minded since the age of 1, at least.  Almost as tall as me too!  Big socialite, loves to dance and loves soccer.  Here are my issues....yes mine.  I feel like she is hitting the pre teen hormonal phase a little early.  We sass, talk back, and not much respect around me or her father.  Has problems with listening at school, talking at the wrong times, etc.  Of course I have read books and tried something we call the 'fine jar'.  Unfortunately this behavior keeps happening.  Yesterday I reached out to the people I had the most faith in and they have really helped.  I thought this could possibly be ADHD/ADD.  WAS not going to label her that, nor do medication!  But if there was a way for me to work with her  and make this better, I was ready!  Talked to my good friend, H...she has her family therapy degree and is a realist(my opinion), but it's a great thing!  Then I talked with my sister in law, K.  She was able to open my eyes up to a whole different issue.  DISCIPLINE.  Sounds simple, huh?  NOPE.  For me it's the hardest thing in the world.  Main problem I have with it, is CONSISTENCY.  Yep, tell her she is grounded, feel bad later, and let her go to the neighbors.  OOPS.  Not following through with these punishments has led to this...little respect and she knows how to press my buttons.  She does, smart kid I tell you.  Found out that K has noticed more, helps being on the outside, it does.  As for me, I have learned to be very open to constructive criticism.  YOU DON'T have to agree, but folks, listen, you never know when something might click!  The other thing I learned that is probably going to be hard for me is being a better wife!  I am her main example and role model.  I have said unflattering things to my husband, not praised him enough, just not said thanks enough.  Now my child thinks she can act the same way.  It is a scary, scary thing.  Few people know my background, it's not my crutch, nor am I going to blame it all on that.  First I grew up with a father that wasn't a well, father.  He used scare tactics all the time.  Hugs, what were those?  Nice words, compliments....what?  When I was in 2nd grade, came home to a packed house and he and my stepmother took me and dumped me at my maternal grandmothers house.  THANK GOD FOR THAT, but still, never knew why?  Never asked either.  He was never there for me as a kid.  Guilt trips all the time.  And on and on.  Mom never remarried.  My sole male role models were my grandfather and my uncle Dave.  Both shall I say outstanding men.  Later in life my brother in law played a big part in this.  Still for me, hard to treat my husband the way a wife is supposed to be treated.  I know what to and how to.  Making a decision to do this day to day.  We are getting a book tonight, so we can get on the same page as to discipline.  Becoming a team again.  Children are not perfect, not one.  But I, with Gods help-no doubt,  am going to hope, pray and try to raise very respectful, loving and faithful children.  OUR wold needs them!  More than ever...I have 2 other little girls.  Man what pressure.  Overwhelms me...these past couple of weeks it feels like a cloud over my life.  Ready for that light to shine!  Well, my first blog...